Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
