I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She bit a glass in half.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
