exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
