I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
