you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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