This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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