Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
