dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize