Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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