Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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