i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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