I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize