My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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