4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
