eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
