She said her name was "party"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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