he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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