even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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