One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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