he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
