with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
