My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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