no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
