just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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