I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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