she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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