considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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