I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize