The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
