So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my phone needs a breathalizer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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