I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
