ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We're too hungover to prance.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
