i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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