So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
