I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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