Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
