So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
