I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
