It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
