Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
