just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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