Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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