i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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