Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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