Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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