i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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