I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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