I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MIDGETS
????
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
