oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
