i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize