The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
