I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
