i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
