im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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