im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize