Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
